Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tech Classics

A former co-worker e-mailed me with a funny update to a ticket that an IT tech had posted in their help desk. He called him a "George."

If you are in IT, you need to read the Chronicles of George for classics like "anti norton virus service" and "she would like to get nt network installed on her desktop, bah just replace it."

Also giving, as you might guess from the title, IT techs a good name is the Bastard Operator from Hell. He has been a role model to many. A typical interaction with him would go like this:
Another user rings.

"I need more space" he says

"Well, why not move to Texas?" I ask

"No, on my account, stupid."

Stupid? Uh-Oh..

"I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy Stewart in a Weekend Family Matine Feature "I didn't quite catch that. What was it that you said?"

I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's a goner and he knows it.

"Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"

"Sure, hang on"

I hear him gasp his relief even though he'd covered the mouthpeice.

"There, you've got *plenty* of space now!"

"How much have I got?" he simps

Now this *REALLY* *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*! Not only do they want me to give them extra space, they want to check it, then correct me if I don't give them enough! They should be happy with what I give them *and that's it*!

Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.

"Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"

"Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says, pleased with his bargaining power

"No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red at room temperature, with steak, extra rare, to follow; "4 Meg in total.."

"Huh? I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

I say nothing. It'll come to him.
The BOFH is famous for his excuses. If you need some help with coming up with an explanation for a user, you can try the BOFH Excuse Generator.

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