Showing posts with label TSA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TSA. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17, 2016

TSA Compliant

This is not the tool you are looking for...
Via @travisgoodspeed

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

TSA

I agree they are getting more aggressive - aggressive with the people they are supposed to protect.

I've had run-ins with the TSA before (and another thing about that encounter).

I had another discussion with them this week. My daughter was sick when we left Knoxville for the happiest place on earth, so we had her digital thermometer in a carry-on. No issues when going through security in Knoxville - in fact, we got to go through the metal detector instead of the cancer machine. Win!

On the return, my wife and daughter got to go through the metal detector, so I asked if I could go through, too. Surprisingly, they let me. No fuss. So far, so good. (In fact, on the way to Orlando, I got to meet Jessie Godderz of Big Brother fame aka Mr. PEC-Tacular.)

However, the aforementioned digital thermometer got flagged in the x-ray machine because it had a nine volt battery in it. They asked whose bag it was, so I pointed to the three year old. The TSA agent took the backpack to a metal table to do the search. He asked if there was a battery in the bag. We said yes and that it was in a digital thermometer. He could not find said thermometer in the bag and my wife kept reaching to help him. This seemed to annoy him as we were not supposed to touch the bag.

During the search, I don't remember what he said, but something set me off, so I started my usual speech about my tax dollars at work and security theater. This really got his knickers in a knot. After finally finding the "hidden" thermometer, he took the bag to be re-scanned. While he was there, he must have asked for a supervisor to talk with the grumpy old white man.

The supervisor asked me if I had a problem with them searching my bag. I said I had a problem with the inconsistency - that the thermometer had not been a problem at the other airport. She said I should be glad that they found it here to keep me safe. What?!?! I should be glad you found a thermometer?!?! These people have no concept that false-positives are a bad thing, too. She was quite aggressive in her tone and insisted that I was in the wrong.

My wife got nervous and asked me to drop it.

The original agent held out the bag to me, but would not let go. I truly believe that he was hoping I would jerk it out of his hand, so that they could give me an even harder time. Finally, he let go and we moved on to our flight.

I cannot believe so many people are happy with the TSA as stated in the first link of this post. Security theater is better than reality.






Monday, September 12, 2011

What is your name? Top Ten Replies to the TSA

As I mentioned earlier, I got selected by the TSA for additional screening and one of their super sophisticated terrorist detection mechanisms is to ask "What is your name?" Despite my disposition for being a smart ass, I answered with my name. Here are the Top Ten answers, I should have given:

10. Eric Stratton. Damn glad to meet you.
9. أنا لا أتحدث الإنجليزية. (Arabic for "I don't speak English")
8. Barack Hussein Obama
7. Bob Smith
6. John Galt
5. Death to the Infidels!
4. What do you want it to be? (With a wink.)
3. Osama bin Laden
2. Saddam Hussein
1. Is this a trick question?

Friday, September 9, 2011

And another thing...

After examining my boarding pass and drivers license, the TSA agent asked me what my name was. I'm thinking she should know after looking at those two documents, but I tell her anyway. What kinda of stupid terrorist won't know the name on their ID? Yet another effective security measure if I ever saw one.

Lottery Winner

I just won the TSA lottery and got selected for additional screening. An alarm went off after a swab of my hand was tested. (Really appreciated the giggles and chorus of "ooooo" from the dozen agents/officers/other uniformed people when the machine buzzed. At least I was quickly moved to the area, so they could go back to chitchatting.) During my fondling session, they told me some lotions will trigger the alarm. Sounds like a good system to me. I feel safer already. I didn't pitch a fit as I want to get home today, but I expressed my displeasure to several of them and used the words "ridiculous" and "security theater." The only funny part was the raised eyebrow from one of the agents when he saw them pull a couple copies of American Rifleman (trips are when I catch up on my dead tree reading) from my bag. There are pretty pictures of some Kimbers on the back.